An immediate rush of anger!
The judgment jumps in.
I have lots of words to shout: the words which conclude who the other person is and who I am. The words are rigid, the words are definitive, the words have the final conclusion.
Is that really so?
Before rushing into the action, can I pause and allow how I am feeling?
Can I be curious about what is happening?
Can I dance with all the input of the inside and outside without putting everything in their old dusty drawers?
Can I recognize what the reality is?
Can I pay attention to what is emerging and what matters?
Can I transform this moment into meaning?
I know I can.
And I owe this trust to coaching.
In my journey of becoming a coach, I have not only learned about coaching profession but about myself and my ways of being in life.
I realized how I was living in automatic and limited ways because of my judgments because I had never questioned them and how my language and actions were perpetuating them.
I learned what learning actually meant. It was not about my talent or lack of talent, it was not something that happened in an instance but it happened through awareness, practice, and reflection. It could take time and effort, but, I could learn anything I wanted.
I gained awareness of my values, what was really important to me and what was not, and I recognized my power to choose to move towards what I care about.
I learned that my values can be different from others’ and that is okay. I learned that the values of others can be different from mine and that is okay too.
I learned that all of us have judgments, different perceived limitations, and preferred ways to navigate these limitations.
One of my biggest learnings was that anything I continued to do, even though I was not happy with it, served me in a way. It did not serve me the best way, because I was not happy with it, but I could acknowledge and accept my ways and choose a new one by thinking, doing, reflecting, adapting.
I learned that I had strengths that I overlooked because my attention went to places that needed to be “fixed”.
I learned that pain is nothing to be afraid of but part of the journey.
I understood that everything is much less scary than my thought of it.
I have learned all these but the biggest learning is that I could let go of what I know and stay curious.
Coaching puts curiosity in its center. Curiosity is the fuel of inspiration. Inspiration is the engine of action. Action is the vehicle to becoming and being.
Can you stay curious?
Can you recognize and let go of the comfort of labeling, knowing, and judging and instead pause, see, and inquire?
Curiosity and presence are skills we practice in coaching but they are transferable to life.
In fact, any coaching skill is transferable to life:
Courage, appreciation, noticing, creating the space for thinking, listening, bearing witness, presence, holding the other in high regard, challenging, establishing rapport, planning, goal setting…are some of these.
The thing is, you can be coach not only in a coaching session but in your whole life.
A coach hears the deep truth,
sees the reality,
differentiates it from the story,
acknowledges and appreciates,
creates the space for others and themselves,
takes forward action,
seeks to understand before being understood,
believes in the wisdom of every individual,
accepts all there is,
lets go of what does not serve
and stays in the being
Being a coach is a transformational journey. By cultivating the presence and curiosity you can be witness to your being and see the story you are telling. You can look into reality, let go of an old story, learn from your experience, feel the inspiration, create your new direction, and take action. When you do that, not only your world changes but so does the world of everyone you are interacting with.
Remember the rush of anger I told you? It was me, feeling not respected. Was that true? Nope. Did it feel real? You bet. What did I do? I held the feeling, dropped the story, and opened up to what I was really hearing. Then I could hear my friend talking about her frustration and the ways she was navigating it. I could hold her and myself. She could hold me and herself. No bridges were burnt, no fights started, and no one left. We heard each other about what mattered to us and co-created our moment and relationship together.
You can build strong relationships, you can build successful careers, you can build happy, fulfilling lives if you can stay curious, open, present so that you are aware of what really matters, let go of what does not serve, and take courageous action.
Learning and practicing coaching skills will help you become a coach. When you have enough practice, the doing will become unconscious and you will totally be coach.
If you’d like to start your journey of becoming a coach, we are waiting for you with open arms and hearts in our Professional Coaching Diploma programme.