“If I knew how to solve my problem I would not come to coaching.”
We heard this statement in the BeCoach Connect workshop recently. And we had heard this statement from our previous students and our coachees.
Maybe you think the same. (Do you?)
Radical Approach of coaching to Your Problems
Coaching has a radical approach to this. Coaching states that you are great as you are. You have all the answers to your questions. Our motto in BeCoach Academy is “You are powerful, you are resourceful, you are whole”.
The definition of coaching according to the International Coaching Federation is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
You see here there is no “solving problems” or “helping people”. It is all about maximizing your potential.
In coaching, you are not someone with a problem or someone who has something wrong with them. But you are someone who stands in front of a door to the transition to the new you. The problem you present is the door and holding the handle (starting from where you are to future) will bring you to your maximized potential.
You don’t solve the problem, you look into what it is you want to create, how what you currently experience is connected to who you want to become, and how you will be becoming. You then have a real look into where you are with an emphasis on what you already have: your talents, your resources, what you have already created. From there, you create bite-sized pathways to your becoming.
Why would you come to coaching even if you don’t receive the answers from your coach?
Alone with your problem, you might want to solve it once and for all by taking action after action, losing energy and not seeing the desired result externally and internally. (You probably have not even reflected on the internal result you want to have)
Maybe thinking about your problem is too painful, when you think of it, it arouses strong emotions that are difficult to hold for you so you avoid thinking about it all together but the problem remains and you know it so it makes you feel even worse. Maybe you feel totally clueless and helpless because you have absolutely no idea whatsoever and that helplessness grows into pain.
This might be your experience but it is not what a coach experiences about you.
When you come to the coaching with this experience the coach will listen to you and instead of focusing on the problem, she will ask what you really want.
You will be invited to the space of creation.
Maybe you will not be able to accept the invitation right away because you have all these thoughts and feelings related to the problem. That is okay. You can express them all. You will be safe with your coach. She will hear you and she will hear you from a place of what you are communicating that is important to you. And when she tells you this, something will click for you: You want something to happen, you want to create a reality.
Your coach will invite you to tell more about what it is that you really want and what that looks like when everything is the way you desire. Maybe still some thoughts about what is difficult right now will come for you. That is okay. All this is an expression of what is important to you. And your coach will be there with you but she will keep on calling you to your ideal picture of yourself.
When you start thinking of this picture and this new you, you can assess where you are in relation to this new you. What you called “a problem” is now a mark in this journey and you have already come so far.
Your coach will inquire with you what you already have: what previous achievements, what talents, what strengths, what resources, what support. Now you remember who you are. Now you can feel your power more. Now you can harness all your resources for your path to your becoming. And you can clearly see what you yet don’t know but need to learn.
Step by step, bit by bit, sharing everything that is in your thoughts and feelings, seeing your vision of who you want to become, bridging your current reality to your future vision, and creating paths that you can take step by step you will maximize your potential.
Maybe when you understand how much you need to learn, a panic washes you over. Maybe you get demotivated. Maybe past failures come to your mind. That is again an ingredient to your becoming. Your coach will hear you and partner with you to create steps that are enjoyable but challenging at the same time, steps that you will take. And the coach will be there with you for accountability, you will know that you will share with her how the steps went. You will not be alone in this journey. And with small steps, before you know it, you will see yourself changed.
This partnership is coaching.
This partnership is the ultimate safe space, where you can express everything.
This partnership is for empowerment, it always sees you as powerful and wakes you up to your own power.
From this safety and this empowerment, you step into your future self, take action to learn what you need to learn, and let go of what you need to let go of.
You become who you want to become.
Learn how to support your coachees best by creating a safe environment
Empowering Coaching Relationships module is where we work with creating this powerful relationship by active listening, creating safety, rapport, empowering.
You can start your coaching journey in the Professional Coaching Diploma programme from the Empowering Coaching Relationships module which takes place on February 12th and 13th.